Ford Just Debuted the 2020 GT500 with a 7-Speed DCT, and the Crayon-Eaters have been Triggered

To say that a company makes a bad car because it’s unreliable, it’s styled by Helen Keller, or it’s a BMW is one thing. However, to completely disregard a car because it doesn’t have a 3rd pedal is kind of comical. Listen, it is the year of our lord 2019. Recreational marijuana is slowly becoming legal across the country, the iPhone XR was a huge letdown, and we have a president that uses McDonalds to cater an event at the White House. These are very accepting times so the fact that Fords biggest and baddest Mustang ever only comes in the 2-pedal variation is not a reason to cry.

All business up front.

“…system that can bang gears faster than you’d last inside Amber Heard with her super slutty red hair from Aquaman.”

The rift in the community is not indifferent to the 2016 Presidential election. The fanatical side, we’ll call them the Futurists, they embrace positive change. These are the kinds of people you see driving 911’s, 11-14 Mustang GT’s with square tire setup’s and a watt’s link, or other highly capable daily-drivable vehicles. The Futurists understand that in order to continue evolving and advancing, we need to push the boundaries. Sometimes this means getting rid of outdated technology like 6 on the floor in favor of a system that can bang gears faster than you’d last inside Amber Heard with her super slutty red hair from Aquaman.

Although it was technically Volkswagen who introduced the world to the concept of a very fast automatic with the DSG in the 2003 MK4 R32 in Germany only, it doesn’t really count because it’s not a true dual clutch. And MK4’s are toilets. It was to everyone’s surprise however that in 2007 Nissan introduced us to the beginning of the end with the R35 GT-R. People. Lost. Their. Minds. Everyone pretty much shut their mouth about it being automatic after it laid down some, for the time, mind shattering 0-60 and Nürburgring lap times. That was the first mass produced vehicle which really put the first, and I’d argue only nail in the coffin of the DIY cog transmission. In the following years manufacturers would slowly follow suit. Porsche showed up the following year with the Doppelkupplun…the PDK. Then it was Ferrari’s turn, then Audi with the S-Tronic and so on and so forth. Fast forward to 2019 and we have dual clutch transmissions in the most ridiculous things. The Porsche Macan for starters has a PDK as standard. Why? They even made a John Deere tractor with a dual clutch transmission. With how good some conventional automatics have gotten (the world renowned ZF 8-speed comes to mind) it’s kind of silly what they’ve actually started to put them into.

But I digress, futurists began to accept that the manual transmission was going to be added to the endangered species list.

The source of many bleeding hearts, and soft hands the morning of January 14, 2019.

On the other side we have the Haters. These are the people who have $96 in their USAA checking account, took out a 72-month loan @ 8.94% APR on their 2013 Coyote Mustang, and think ghost cam tunes are cool. The same dudes who buy the starter pack on a 12-month payment plan through Affirm. It consists of:

  • A BAMA Tune
  • AmericanMuscle replica RTR wheels
  • Red caliper covers
  • Electrical tape for the LOL-RUN tail light mod
  • The cheapest long tube header, and x-pipe combination available so their car rasps and drones worse than a clapped out Honda Civic with a fart can from True Life: I’m a Street Racer.

They will then taunt you for buying a 2018 GT manifold for $315 because you should have spent $1300 on a GT350 setup to make an additional 3/10ths of a horsepower at 7,485rpm. They cannot conceive the notion of a world without a manual transmission, regardless of the fact that they can’t get close to touching the 10 speed automatics in the 2018 Mustang GT’s. We’ll call these guys the Cucks.

You see the biggest reason the Cucks are upset is because much like the rest of us they want to see innovation, increased power, and more badass designs on their favorite Pony car. Don’t get me wrong, myself and the rest of the futurists do as well, however there is an important thing we need to realize. While every guy wants to think he can shift like Ryan Woon, the reality is they can’t. The Mustangs shitty stock shifter design does not allow that, and even if you drop $500 on the magnificent MGW Race-Spec shifter you still have the human limitation factor. You simply will not be able to change gears as fast as electronics can send a signal to an actuator. You are more likely to tongue punch Selena Gomez’s fartbox than knock out a gear change in under 0.100 seconds.

Thus, by saying the new GT500 is a piece of shit, people should be fired, and it should of came with a manual clearly shows that you no longer understand the times we live in, and the purpose these cars have. Ford does not invest millions upon millions of dollars in a product solely to win the approval of the try-hard who can’t afford the car BEFORE the $20,000 dealer markup this car is absolutely going to see. They do it because they want to fight to be the toughest kid on the block. Make no mistake, this car is going to kick the Camaro ZL1 1LE in the taint and steal its Nikes. We don’t even need to see the lap times to point and laugh at the Hellcat. Hell, based on what Ford’s told us about it I’m confident even saying this thing might actually give the Corvette Z06 a run for its money, and that’s a really big deal. We are living in a time where lap time competition sells cars more than ¼ mile times do. Funny enough, manual transmissions have the handicap in both equations, so I don’t really understand the massive amounts of hate on a company who made their decisions based on the needs to further promote and grow the brand.

No more party in the back for this hillbilly!

I get that you might not be happy with the direction they want to take the GT500 in, but that is not a reason to say people are wrong and they won’t sell any. Ford will laugh at you like Nelson from the Simpsons while its dump trucks of cash head to the bank from how well this will sell, and even more if it can hang with the Germans too. Like I said, you can’t even afford the car anyway. If you are that obsessed with wanting a high horsepower car then call Lebanon Ford. I’m sure they will finance you one of their $40,000 800hp cars for 9.99% APR and you can line up with a 2020 GT500 and get gapped because you won’t hook.

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